People Share Their Horror Stories of Dates That Went Wrong

Going on a first date with someone can be one of the most awkward events you’ll ever go through. You’re literally going out with someone that you probably don’t know anything about with the hopes that you can start a lifelong relationship, but getting to know each other isn’t always the easiest thing to do. Statistics show that less than half of first dates end with a kiss, so what’s happening in the majority of these dates? Take a look at these 25 horror stories of dates that went wrong, showing you that it could be worse for you on the dating scene!

23WallyDaWalrus avoids a stabbing.

“My first Tinder date, this really cute girl. Thought I hit the jackpot. I pick her up at a friend’s house, we go to dinner, and she doesn’t really know how to talk much in person like she does by text. I tried starting every conversation but nothing worked. During the drive home, she hit me with all this abuse history that her family has done to her. In my head I’m like ‘WtF is going on, I don’t even want to get a happy ending at this point,’ just trying to get home while consoling her verbally. That’s until she pulls a knife out of her purse and says, ‘That’s why I always carry this at the bottom of my purse. So don’t try anything funny,’ while giggling with a laugh. I laughed nervously as I slowly accelerated, and took her home. I just gave her a hug and let her get out.”

Teachers Share Stories of Students That Were Crushing On Them

When you’re growing up, usually the first crush you have in school is on one of your teachers. Teachers are the adults that you’re around everyday, and many of them have stories about students that have been attracted to them. Some are horror stories, while others have been quite adorable. If you’re a student, almost all of them are horror stories due to the teasing that usually comes as a result of having a crush on the teacher. Let’s look at what some teachers had to say about their students falling in love with them, and how they dealt with the awkwardness.

23watergator is part of the family.

“I have substituted and tutored kids at the high school where my mom teaches. There was a girl that started referring to her as her mother in law. That got pretty weird.” Weird might be a bit of an understatement!

Multilingual People Reveal What They’ve Heard in Secret

Most of us will never know more than one language, though it can really come in handy if you’re fluent in more than one language, which is known as being multilingual. It’s estimated that around 43 percent of the world knows two languages, while just 13 percent know three or more languages. Not only can you open up your job prospects by learning multiple languages, but you might hear some interesting stuff that you weren’t intended to hear!

23mwatwe01 also had a foreign encounter where he learned that he wasn’t bad looking!

“In high school, I spent a month in Germany as an exchange student,” he said. “I had taken two years of German at that point and was pretty good at it. Everyone I met commented on the fact that they had never met an American who could speak German. Until they met me. One night..shortly after I arrived, I was at a party. Two girls about my age sat down close to me and started talking. I tried to look oblivious. (The first girl said in German) ‘Isn’t that the American boy staying with Peter?’ (Girl two said) “Yes. He’s rather cute, yes?’ (Girl one responded) ‘Yes! I’m going to say something!’ (Girl one then said in English) ‘Hey! Aren’t you the American staying with Peter?’” He responded saying in German, “Yes, I am! It’s nice to meet you both! They both turned bright red. It was one of the funnest trips I’ve ever had.”

Tim Tebow Brings Family To Tears With Heart Touching Moment

“Its been unique, its been a learning opportunity, its been a lot of fun," said Tim Tebow, St. Lucie Mets outfielder, about the last few months playing baseball, in an exclusive interview with TCPalm sports multimedia journalist Jon Santucci on Thursday, July 20 at First Data Field in Port St. Lucie. “I can say I’ve been learning something new every single day," Tebow said. [Via MerlinFTP Drop]

Professional athletes in the United States have been admired by the public for many, many years, but not all of them have been the best role models. One particular athlete the caught the nation’s attention in the mid 2000’s was Tim Tebow, a quarterback with the University of Florida that won two National Championships with the Gators, winning the 2007 Heisman Trophy for the nation’s most outstanding college player along the way. He earned the love of many fans, especially one fan in particular.

Tebow became an icon not only for his play, but his humanitarian work, as well as his religious views. A devout Christian, Tebow had a large fanbase of those with the same faith. Although he had his detractors, Tebow always kept his head up and maintained his role model status, playing his final NFL game in 2012 with the New York Jets before offseason squad duties with the New England Patriots and Philadelphia Eagles.

Over the past year, Tebow has been trying to break back into professional sports, this time in the world of baseball. As a Minor League player for the New York Mets, Tebow is working his way back to the top, and a lot of people are paying attention to his development as a baseball player. Through his career’s ups and downs, Tebow has focused on helping people away from sports.

Tebow’s philanthropic efforts date back to his college days where he created a charity called First and 15 that helped raise money for an orphanage in the Philippines. It was the same country where Tebow was also born since his parents were missionaries in the country, and he has since built a hospital there as part of his efforts. The hospital for children was built in 2011, and dubbed The Tebow CURE Hospital in Davao City.

Upon entering the NFL as a first round selection of the Denver Broncos, Tebow was able to start earning millions, and gave much of it back to charity. In Gainesville, Florida where Tebow played college ball, he started the Tim Tebow Foundation that has made great strides in the area to the point where Florida’s Governor gave Tebow the title of Great Floridian. In 2015, the Tim Tebow Foundation made a very grand announcement that made positive headlines in a world that needed it.

Tebow announced that the foundation had been working on delivering a prom night for those with disabilities that might not be able to make it to their school’s prom. The evening was called Night to Shine, and the first year of the program held more than 40 proms at once for more than 7,000 youngsters at churches both in the United States and abroad. The next year was even more remarkable as Tebow was able to get more than 200 locations at once with more than 30,000 guests.

Valentine’s weekend of 2017 was the biggest hit yet, as Tebow aimed at holding 375 different locations for Night to Shine. Tebow told the press that “It’s more than a prom. These are people who need to know that they matter. They matter to other people. They matter to God.” The 2017 event was held in nearly a dozen countries thanks to the Tim Tebow Foundation and corporate sponsors, with Tebow showing up to some of the event himself. “It is so awesome to see what happens when churches around the world set aside their individual banners and names to do what I believe the church was called to do, which is simply love God and love people,” Tebow said.

One particular event goer that Tebow inspired was Judy Adams, an 18 year old that was born with Down’s syndrome, and created a charity of her own. Adams created the foundation Dimes for Downs as a child back in 2011, and has raised more than half a million dollars so far. Like every person, Adams wanted to meet her hero in person, and sent out a special invite to Tebow for the 2017 Night to Shine.

As Tebow was balancing his baseball career and trying to make as many appearances during the night at the same time, he wasn’t able to make it to the prom where Adams was attending. While some athletes might have let the invitation go by the wayside and simply forget about it, Tebow made sure to deliver a response to Adams’s invite, and he did it in a very memorable way in front of a large audience.

Without Adams’s mother knowing, Tebow contacted her mother to let her know that he would be appearing on “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” in May 2017. Tebow was scheduled to appear as a guest to promote his new book, and was able to get Adams’s family to come to the show’s taping, with her mother telling the family that she happened to get tickets by chance in a contest. However, it was Tebow that personally hooked her up with the tickets.

With her hero finally right before her eyes being interviewed by Jimmy Fallon, Adams was absolutely starstruck. The secret had been a success, as she didn’t even know Tebow was scheduled to be on that night’s show. During the course of the interview, Fallon asked Tebow about the Night to Shine event, and the athlete revealed that he had never gone to prom while he was in school.

That’s when Fallon handed Tebow a corsage, asking Tebow if he had ever handed one out to a date. Tebow said that he had someone in mind that he’d like to give the corsage to, turning his attention to the audience to point out Adams. Tebow apologized about not being able to make the Night to Shine event that she was attending, but made it up to her in a big way on national television.

Tebow said that Adams was an inspiration to him, and surprised her in the most heartwarming way when he asked her to come on stage for a dance. Completely stunned by the turn of events, Adams was quick to get to the stage. She was in shock that all of this was happening, especially with millions watching around the world. What happened next made the tears start flowing.

With the lights dimmed down and The Roots playing behind them, Tebow and Adams slow danced across the stage. Adams’s mother was in attendance, and couldn’t contain her joy as she was brought to tears by Tebow’s kindness. The night was just beginning for Adams, too, as Tebow had a little more planned on “The Tonight Show” set.

Not only did Adams get to meet her hero, but she also met celebrities like Jimmy Fallon and Kerry Washington behind the scenes. Tebow also delivered an autographed copy of his book “Shaken: Fighting to Stand Strong No Matter What Comes Your Way”. It was all Adams could ask for Tebow was happy to deliver. Within days, Tebow made a day great for another child with special needs.

At a baseball game in June, Tebow was being hounded by fans for his autograph, but made a beeline to one girl in particular with Down’s syndrome. With her Tebow poster in hand, the athlete signed it before getting to anybody else, writing Night to Shine below his name, which is the event that got Adams started in her charity endeavors in the first place. Needless to say, whether you love him or hate him, Tebow is certainly a man of the people with a huge heart.

Preschool Sweethearts Reunite 30 Years Later to Show Love Has No Timeline

You remember being a young child, especially when you’re starting school for the first time. You’re introduced to other children that you’ve never met before, and it can be a little overwhelming. It’s around that time that you start to develop your first crush, and that was the case for both Amy Giberson and Justin Pounders.

Giberson and Pounders were just three years old when they met for the first time at Sunshine Preschool in St. Petersburg, Florida. The two would spend a lot of time together, and develop a bit of a “romance” as parents jokingly referred to the two as a couple. Just like most children, though, the two would grow apart as they eventually attended different schools and it seemed like they would drift apart forever.

The two even found themselves in different parts of the state when attending college as Giberson went to Tampa while Pounders went to Tallahassee. After college, the young professionals remained single, so they turned to online dating in hopes of finding love. The two enrolled on Match.com without each other’s knowledge when Pounders came across Giberson’s profile.

Even though Pounders didn’t know that it was Giberson specifically, he instantly became drawn to her photo. “She just had this great energy, you could tell,” he said. “I can’t explain it, but I knew I had to get to know this girl.” Pounders quickly sent her a message, and the two engaged in conversation over the internet and the phone.

After weeks of talking, Pounders and Giberson still had no idea that they had actually been a pair at one point in their lives. They would meet in person and still had no idea, but did feel a strong connection. Giberson said that “It was like I had known him my whole life. When I first saw him, I felt that I was staring at the man I was going to marry.”

Finally, after a year of dating, it was brought up in conversation about their upbringing. Giberson said that she grew up in St. Petersburg just like Pounders, but didn’t know any of the childhood friends that he had brought up in the past. In fact, Pounders even said that he had a crush on a girl named Amy while he was in preschool, but Giberson said “I joked to him, ‘Well, it’s not me, so I don’t want to hear about it!’”

Giberson quickly started to realize that it might be her that Pounders was talking about! The couple got in touch with their parents, asking for old photos from back in their preschool days. When the 30 year old photo from Sunshine Preschool, the couple discovered the shocking truth that they had known each other before!

Giberson was in tears because of the photo, saying that “I was ecstatic. I was the Amy he had liked all those years ago! It was definitely meant to be.” They had grown up close to each other for years, and eventually moved to the same area after college, but didn’t know how close they were to reconnecting until meeting over a dating website. Pounders said that the time was right for them to reunite.

The story of the couple reuniting after 30 years started to make national news, and suddenly there were a lot of questions about if the improbable romance would result in marriage. In late 2015, the 34 year olds announced that the happy ending was becoming a reality! While appearing on “The View” and telling their story, the cameras started rolling on Sunshine Preschool where there was a special message waiting.

Students at the preschool held up a collective sign that asked, “Amy, will you marry me?” That set into motion one year of wedding planning with their big day coming in November 2016. The wedding was in the same city of St. Petersburg where they had grown up and attended preschool together, with 200 of their closest family members and friends in attendance.

Giberson said that the wedding was a dream come true, and that “Our hearts met at the age of three and we had our own journeys to go through for 30 years, but ultimately our hearts were meant to love each other.” The wedding day was absolutely perfect, and filled with nostalgia of the past as they got hitched in the same building where Giberson would have dance recitals.

The two would then spend their honeymoon on the Caribbean islands, and are happy that their story has been able to touch the hearts of so many. Even Giberson (now Pounders) herself said that she wasn’t able to expect anything like this to happen. “I was hopeful that those love stories Nicholas Sparks wrote about were actually real and that I’d have a great love one day,” she said. “But I never expected this!”

What made the marriage even more unlikely was the fact that Justin Pounders had actually been engaged years before reuniting with Giberson. Pounders’s fiancee Adrianne Roberts was tragically murdered the night before they were set to move in together. It wouldn’t be for a few more years that Pounders tried to find love again. Amy said that “We believe the day she became his guardian angel, she set out to help heal his heart…We feel she found me and brought us together.”

Now happily married, people are wondering if there are going to be children in the future. Amy told reporters to “stay tuned” as they’re still focusing on settling down for now! Amy did have a message to pass along to people who have been touched by their story, though, saying that “Never give up on love and love will never give up on you.”

The couple is still making big news because of their marriage, which was featured in “The God Wink Effect: 7 Secrets to God’s Signs, Wonders and Answered Prayers”.Now 35 years old, the couple is happy to share their story with anybody interested and are still making public appearances to share the message that love isn’t always easy to find, but it’s all worth it in the end!

50 Years After Splitting Couple Reunited to Find Wedded Bliss

When this young couple met they fell madly in-love with each other and quickly had marriage in their plans. Unfortunately, the young woman’s father abruptly put an end to those plans. Over 50 years would pass before they would see their original plans to come to fruition.

4Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Willson said that the couple had no plans of actually breaking up since they didn’t want to, but that it was a necessity. “We tried to figure things out, but I guess we weren’t smart enough,” he said. They split decades before social media or cell phones were even thought of, so they started to drift apart. Willson moved to the other side of the country for graduate school at Harvard, then moved to Northern California as an attorney.

Willson eventually married another woman, while Rude became married to another man. Rude herself started running her family’s swimming pool business, finding success in the field. Over the course of time, both Willson and Rude would be married multiple times, but never able to find a love that stuck.

Life took quite a quick turn as they got older, and both Willson and Rude had to watch their mothers pass away within mere months of each other.

Lawyer Threatens Legal Action Against Farmer, You Won’t Believe How He Responds

A big wig lawyer from the city is hunting ducks while out on vacation when he spots the fattest duck that he has ever seen; he is nervous that he might miss, but he lines up the shot, and with pinpoint accuracy he blasts the duck straight out of the sky.

The duck spirals down and to the lawyer’s dismay it lands in the middle of a farmer’s field on the other side his fence. The lawyer resolves that he can’t let lose the opportunity to get a duck this perfect, and he decides to hop the fence and grab it before it gets snatched up by the farmer’s dog.

The lawyer scales the fence, but when he finally finds the duck an elderly farmer spots him and drives out to meet him on his tractor. “Just what in the heck do you think you’re doing out here, son? This right here is my property!”

“No need to lose your temper, old man,” the lawyer replies, “I was out here hunting ducks and one of them happened to land on your property: I just want to get it and go.”

The farmer scoffs; “old man! Why I never! Where we’re standing is under my jurisdiction which means that if a duck lands on this property then it belongs to me. You can just take yourself back the way you came and forget about it.”

The indignant lawyer couldn’t believe that a farmer would speak to him this way. “Don’t you know who I am? I’m one of the finest trial lawyers to ever walk inside of a courtroom, and if you don’t let me get my duck then I’ll sue you for everything you have down to your last ear of corn!”

The old farmer shoots back a grin and says “apparently you don’t know how things work around here: we settle disagreements like this using the Three Kick Rule.”

The lawyer scrunches his face. “I’ve never heard of any kind of Three Kick Rule. What’s that?”

The elderly farmer explains: “Well, first I’ll kick you three times, and then you’ll kick me three times back, and then we’ll take turns like that until one of us gives up.”

The lawyer quickly thinks about the farmer’s offer and figures that there is no way the farmer can win: the guy is probably pushing 65 years old, and one kick would probably put this old fart in a stretcher. The lawyer agrees to abide by the local custom, but warns the old timer that he’s in for a real beating if he continues with this challenge.

The farmer carefully climbs down from his tractor and then plants a swift kick directly into the lawyer’s groin: sending the lawyer to his knees. While the lawyer clutches his groin he receives a powerful kick straight into his nose: breaking it in three places. The lawyer topples over in pain and the old farmer places the last kick square into the lawyer’s kidney: making him howl in agony.

Despite the beating that the lawyer receives he is determined to not give up; this competition is about more than just a duck now and this geezer is going to pay! He manages to make his way to his feet and he says “you’re in for it now old man, it’s my turn.”

The little old farmer smiles and says:

“Naw, I give up, you can keep the duck.”

Handicapped Boy Goes Missing. What a Truck Driver Did next Will Bring You to Tears

I do my best not to be judgmental, but honestly I was a bit nervous about hiring Stevie.

I was constantly reassured by his placement councilor that he would have no issues completing his tasks as a busboy, but the thought of having a mentally handicapped employee made me a bit nervous: would the customers be as open to him as I was? People don’t have much patience these days.

Stevie wasn’t all that tall, he had a bit of an awkward walk to him, his face was unusually smooth, and when he spoke he had a particularly thick accent: all the unmistakable symptoms of Down syndrome.

I knew I wouldn’t have anything to worry about when it came to my trucker customers: typically truckers pay no mind to who is busing the tables that day; if the pies are fresh and homemade, and the food tastes good then they’ll be plenty happy before getting back to the road.

It was the college kids that were giving me second thoughts: the mouthy yuppie types on their way to and from their college campuses. You know the type… using their napkins to clean off their silverware so they don’t contract some kind of poor people’s disease, or having a laugh at the expense of the business. The other ones who made me nervous were the business men that came through on their executive trips: eating on their company’s dime and making the staff uncomfortable by flirting with the waitress.

I knew they wouldn’t be comfortable around Stevie; that they would look at him differently. And so for the first few weeks of his job I watched over everything he did.

But I was wrong to be worried.

Within his first week he had the entire staff wrapped around his stubby little finger. Before a month had passed the drivers had adopted him as the official mascot of our little truck stop: truckers were stopping in just so they could meet the best darn busser in the whole county. After that I didn’t give a damn what the other customers thought.

Stevie was like family to us. He was just a young twenty one year old kid sporting Nikes and blue jeans, and as much as he liked to laugh and please the customers he was zeroed in on all of his work duties. In fact the only problem that we ever faced with Stevie is that he was a little too eager to work, and he had trouble waiting for the customers to finish before he started to clean the tables.

Sometimes Stevie would wait excitedly in the background for a table to be finished… shifting his weight from side to side like he was anxious; he’d scan the entire dining room for a customer to finish, and then he’d shoot off towards the table to make it perfect again. He took a real pride in making sure his job was done exactly right: carefully bussing the dishes without ever fumbling them, and wiping down the tables with a practiced and precise flourish.

Every day that Stevie came into work he did his absolute best to please each and every person he met, and quite frankly it was impossible not to fall victim to the boy’s charm. Over the course of his time here we came to learn that he was living with his mother, a recently widowed woman who was left disabled after undergoing several surgeries for cancer: the only thing standing between them and a life on the streets was Stevie and his job here at the truck stop. Our hearts sank.

About two miles down the road from our place was a public housing establishment that they called home; they had Social Security benefits but their social worker, who checking in every once in a while to make sure we were happy with Stevie, had admitted to me they had fallen on hard times.

Money was tight for his family, and without his employment here he’d likely be shipped off to live in some kind of group home, a thought that I couldn’t bear. And that is why things were so gloomy last September when one day Stevie didn’t show up for work. We knew something was wrong. For three years had never been late a single day: not even by a minute.

We feared the worst and the news wasn’t much better; Stevie was being held at the Mayo Clinic over in Rochester and was undergoing some kind of heart operation with a new valve: I didn’t really understand what was wrong. Just a day earlier he was bouncing around with a grin from ear to ear.

Stevie’s social worker told me that this kind of condition was common at his age for those who shared his condition, and that it wasn’t unexpected that his complications would continue. Fortunately there was a good chance that Stevie would get through the surgery all right, and would be back to work in only a few months although that felt like an eternity.

Later in the morning we got word that he made it through the procedures and was doing fine in recovery. A wave of celebration washed over the staff, and our head waitress, Frannie, danced down the aisle in excitement, and thanking God for the good news.

Frannie’s joy was contagious, and one of our regular’s, Belle Ringer, grinned and asked what all the excitement was about. “We just got the news that Stevie is out of surgery and he is going to be okay.” And Belle lit up a little bit and said “I was wondering where he was.”

Frannie told the story of Stevie’s surgery to the truckers before letting out a sigh. “I’m so glad he’s going to be ok, but I’m worried about him and his mom. I just don’t know how the two are going to handle to medical expenses… they’re barely scraping by as is.” The truckers nodded, and she returned to the other tables.

When the morning rush died down Frannie walked into my office with a couple napkins in her hand and a funny look on her face. “What’s the matter?” I asked, and she told me something marvelous. She told me that at the table where Belle Ringer and the other truckers were sitting that these napkins were sitting underneath a paper cup. I couldn’t believe what they said.

On the first napkin was scrawled “Something for Stevie,” and with it were three twenty dollar bills. “When Pony Pete and Tony heard what happened to Stevie they looked at each other and didn’t even hesitate.” She handed me two fifty dollar bills, and two napkins with the exact same message: something for Stevie.”

Frannie looked at me with wet eyes, she shook her head in disbelief, and she said the simple word that we all were thinking… “truckers.”

That was just a few months ago. I’m writing this on Christmas Eve, the day of Stevie’s return to work; his social worker has been telling me how excited he is to return to work: counting the days until he could be back. Stevie didn’t care a lick that it was a holiday.

Over the past week he has called me a dozen times to make sure we knew he was coming, worried that we might have forgotten about him, or that his job might not be available. I spoke with his social worker to make a special arrange: to have his mother bring him to work on his first day back.

Stevie looked different. He was paler than before and a lot thinner, but you could feel his energy throughout the entire building. It was miraculous. He went straight to his apron and his bussing card without missing a beat.

“Woah woah there Stevie, not so fast” I told him. I took him and his mother by the arms and I gently led them towards the tables.“ I know you’re excited to be back but work can wait for a minute. To celebrate your return I wanted you two to have breakfast, on me.”

I brought them to a booth in the corner at the rear of the room, and could feel the rest of the staff following behind us. Glancing over my shoulder I could see an entire restaurant of smiling truckers stand up and join our march.

We arrived at the big table we had set up; its entire surface littered with saucers, coffee cups, and dinner plates, with all of them resting on dozens of carefully folded napkins. “Before you can have your breakfast you’re going to have to clean this mess up, Stevie.” I tried my best to sound stern as I said it.

Stevie glanced at me in understanding, and then at his mother, and then grabbed his first napkin before reading the outside: “Something for Stevie.”

As he picked it up two ten dollar notes fell out. Stevie simply stared at it, and then at the rest of the napkins sitting on the table… all of which bearing his name. I turned to his mother and told her what we had been planning this whole time: “there’s $10,000 in both cash and checks on that table, donated by truckers and trucking companies that heard about your family’s problems. Merry Christmas!”

And it was about that time that our little trucker stop got awfully noisy. There was hollering, and cheering, and yes, there was some crying too.

But you know what the funny thing is?

While everyone else was busy with hugging and celebrating, Stevie was busy cleaning the table of cups and dishes. He had the biggest smile on his face that I have ever seen.

He’s the best worker I’ve ever hired.

This Pastor Breaks down the Meaning of Life in a Hilarious Way

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The pastor stood before his packed congregation with a sense of urgency. “Over the years” he said, “I’ve been asked a lot of questions, but the one that I hear most often is the one I want to answer for you today., and that’s what life is all about.”

You see the meaning of life goes all the way back to the very first day, when God was creating all the animals; after making each animal he gave them instructions on how it would use its life to serve human kind, and gave each animal a lifespan comparable to the difficulty of its duties.

The first animal that God created was the dog, and he told the dog that his job was to spend all of its days sitting by the front door of its house and barking at every living thing which passed by: “for this” God said, “you will be granted a twenty years of life.”

But the dog was not content with what he had been given… “I appreciate this gift of life but twenty years is an awful long time for such a simple and monotonous life, don’t you think? Why don’t you give me just ten years to live and I’ll give you back the other ten?” And God saw the dog’s point of view and he agreed to its terms.

And the next animal that God gave form was the monkey, and he said unto the monkey “you will entertain man with your tricks and silliness, and in exchange for making humanity laugh I will also reward you with twenty years of life. But the monkey had heard God’s offer to the dog and it too wasn’t content.

“God, I don’t mean to be ungrateful or anything, but I think that after performing the same routine for twenty years that the joke would quickly wear thin. I listened to the deal that you gave to the dog and I kind of think I’d like the same thing: how about you give me ten years to live and in exchange you can have the other ten back?” And out of love and fairness, God agreed.

And the next animal that God breathed life into was the cow, and God said unto the cow “you have one of the most important jobs of all animal life; you must work with man in the field and the blazing hot sun, you must bear calves, and you must provide milk to the farmers so that they may quench their family’s thirst, and in exchange for this crucial job I shall grant you sixty years of life. But the cow was also not content with God’s generous offer.

“You bless me God, truly, but that kind of sounds like a tough life to manage for sixty years. I’ve got to be honest: I’m not even sure I’d still be able to make milk after year twenty. How about I keep twenty of the years and I’ll give the other forty back to you?” And God saw the plight of the cow and so he gave it mercy.

And as you all know God created human kind, and when he did he told us how we were meant to live. “Go forth and enjoy life’s pleasures; feast, rest, love, wed, frolic, and chase your wildest dreams; do this and I will give you twenty beautiful years to live your life to the fullest.” But human kind was not content with God’s gracious offer.

“Only twenty years?” Humanity cried. “How could I enjoy all the beauty of your creation in such a short amount of time? Couldn’t you possibly give me a bit longer? How about you also give me all the unwanted years of the other animals: then I could live eighty years in the pursuit of happiness.”

And so God grinned and replied, “all right… you’ll get what you asked for.”

And that, my friends, is why we play, eat, and sleep for the first twenty years of our life. We spend forty years of our life working ourselves to the bone to provide for our loved ones. We spend ten years entertaining our grandkids like a monkey. And in the last ten years of our life we sit on our front porch: barking at everyone we can.

And that is what life is all about.

 

Taxi Driver Contemplates Leaving a Customer Behind, but Instead His Life is Changed Forever

When I arrived at my destination I honked to let her know I had arrived, and yet nobody came out; after a few minutes of waiting I honked my horn again, although patience was quickly wearing thin. This particular customer was my last fare of the day, and for just a moment I heavily considered just driving off and leaving them behind: I figured that no amount of money would ever be worth the extra time and effort of having to wait outside for a whole thirty minutes…boy was I wrong.

Eventually I decided to just park the car and knock on the door myself, and when I do I’m greeted with the sound of a frail and shriveled voice: “just a minute, dear, I’m sorry for holding you up for so long.” I could hear something scrape across the floor and making a distinct scratching noise.

After what felt like ten minutes the door opened wide, and a woman who looked to be in her mid 90s was standing before me; she was wearing a simple dress with a print design and a hat with a dark veil on it that looked like something out of a 1940s film noir.

Next to this woman was a tiny almost comical suitcase made of some kind of nylon fabric, and her residence looked liked it had been uninhabited for centuries: the furniture was covered in plastic so thick that it was as if she were preparing for a nuclear fallout, and wanted to make absolutely sure that everything stayed pristine. The whole sight of her home was honestly a bit jarring.

I could see from outside that there were no clocks hunt up on the wall, and to my surprise there were no knick knacks either. There was no cutlery on the countertops, and hidden away deep in the corner was a cardboard box jammed full of framed pictures and what appeared to be glassware from the Renaissance.

Her body shook a little as she looked up at me. “Would you please carry my bag to the car for me? It’s a bit difficult for me these days.” I picked up her suitcase and stored it in my cab and then made me way back; I was a little bit nervous that she might ask me to start loading up her house like some kind of budget U-Haul: preying on the likelihood that I would be too nice to say no.

But instead she took my arm and we slowly shuffled out to the curb. She thanked me for my kindness several times, but I told her that it was nothing to worry about, and that I was simply treating her the same way I’d want for my own mother.

Her face wrinkled up and she smiled: “you’re such a gentleman, I’m sure your mother is very proud of you.” After we were both seated in the cab she provided me with an address, and asked that I take her through the downtown streets.

“Trust me when I say that it’s not the quickest route,” I quickly shot back.

Oh I’m not worried about all that, sweety, I’m in no kind of hurry: I’m going to hospice.

What she said caught me off guard; I looked at her through the rearview mirror and I could see her eyes glisten. “I don’t have any family left to miss me,” she said, “and the medical staff says I don’t have much longer.”

As quietly as I could I switched my meter off.

“Well ma’am, which route would you like me to take?” For over two hours we drove all over the city. She showed me where she used to work operating elevators. We drove through the neighborhood that her and her husband called home way back when they were newlyweds. We stopped at a furniture warehouse that used to be ballroom where she danced as a young girl: it’s fascinating how complex and beautiful the lives are of the countless people we’ll never meet.

Every now and again she’d ask me to park by a particular corner or building and would simply sit in silence: staring into the darkness for no discernible reason.  And as soon as the sun began kissing the borders of the horizon she lightly sighed and said “I’m tired. Let’s go.”

And the both of us traveled in complete silence for the rest of the trip, and we finally arrived at a small-ish building with a drive way that rested underneath an overhang. Two care takers emerged from the building as we drew closer; they seemed concerned with the woman’s movements, and it seemed as if they had been waiting for her to arrive.

I grabbed the old woman’s miniature suitcase from the trunk and carried it to the front door; by the time I arrived she was already housed in assistance devices. She looked at me with intent and asked me how much she owed me, but I told her it was free of charge.

“Oh come now, you have to put food on the table.”

“And there are plenty of other customers who will help me to do so.”

I kneeled down as if I were operating on pure instinct, and I gave this old woman who I had never met the most sincere huge of my life. “Thank you,” she whispered, “you gave me a final memory of joy.” I clasped her hand and I turned to leave: drifting towards the dim morning light that I have become all too familiar with.

I opened my car door, and behind me another door shut: the sound of a life being closed. My shift ended right then and there and yet I didn’t go home: I cruised aimlessly while lost within myself. I didn’t want to pick up any more passengers; I was searching for myself and searching for answers.

What if I never picked that old woman up? What if a driver with less patience had shown up at her door step? What if I only honked once before deciding that enough is enough? How many times has this already happened without us having ever realized it?

As I mulled over these questions I came to a realization: I don’t think I have ever done anything else more important than what I did tonight; I think that’s the beauty of the world though, that great moments will always catch us unaware: wrapped humbly within insignificance.